he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
