You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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