At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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