She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
