What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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