party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
