But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
