There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
