Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
