dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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