i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
