She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
