he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
