Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
