If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
