I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
