I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
