when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
