Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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