You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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