Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
