My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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