Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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