i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
there is puke in my bra ... again
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