hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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