So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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