i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
