He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
