she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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