i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
