Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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