Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
