he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This is classic penis vs brain.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
