office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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