Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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