some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
