: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
