So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
