Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
