The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
