remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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