I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
