I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
