There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
