I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
