no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
