Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
