my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
