she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
