and i looked up. we had an audience...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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